2004-05-10 - 4:44 p.m.
last night, I felt for the first time after a long time (more than a month) a very strong chi flow. My usual chi flows are not weak as I usually am swaying around quite a lot and falling back and forth.
The flow I felt yesterday was different. It felt much more powerful and deeper than the usual flow I had. I felt it a short while after I reminded myself to let go with the mind. when it came on, I felt my whole body was pushed forward with force much greater than what I can control - the same kind that made me spin so fast during the Intensive Course. Now I understand that I'm afraid of that force, afraid that I'm unable to control it. Perhaps that's why I haven't had such a wild spin since after the course.
It was good to experience it even for a brief moment last night. It taught me that there are deeper levels of letting go. Now I start to understand how people can do kung fu forms and dance and sing and cry while doing chi kung. I hope I'll be unafraid to flow with it when it comes to me again.
